
Pirates exchange gunfire with US Naval warships off the coast of New England.
Last week would-be pirates took the USS Constitution for a joyride. Their plans were cut short by the arrival of two “mothballed” U.S. warships. The USS Oliver Hazard Perry (FFG-7) and the USS Kidd (DDG-993) were quickly manned by retired former crewmembers who just happened to be sitting around drinking coffee and telling “sea stories.” One-time crewmember of the USS Kidd, GMM3 David Smith related events, “As it turns out, when I left the Navy, I forgot to turn in my keys, then they mothballed her (sic), and I figured, what the hell, I’ll just keep them as a souvenier.” Smith said that fortunately, he didn’t have to resort to firing the 5″ deck gun or the SM1 missles at one of America’s priceless treasures. Apparantly the US Navy forgot to offload standard munitions and possibly a couple of nuke Tomahawks, prior to retiring the ships. According to Smith, “It turns out that the pirates were actually a local fraternity, celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day, and things sort of got out of hand. When they saw that their cannon balls were just bouncing off the sides of the ships… they gave up pretty quickly.” Smith said he wasn’t looking to the U.S. government for any kind of reward, but that he might take home one of the Tomahawks because, “they’re just really cool.”